a natural death

sueño de morir de viejo y no de soledad -- Juanes
(I dream of dying of old age and not of loneliness)

A subject that interests few, and upsets many, and naturally concerns every one of us. Interesting, that.
How are we going to die?  Not "if", of course.  Not "when"; neither "from what causes".  Though we might have some options, depending on what we do before the fact.  But, if we do have the choice -- in the moments that lead up to and follow that one moment -- how?  Whatever our views, or lack of same, about what comes after, is it possible to see death as a transition?   As movement along a continuum, in which intention, awareness, and -- not least -- the people we love have their part?

The couple I'm visiting are probably close to 70.  The husband, who might be a few years older than his wife, is confined to his home, to a recliner and to the constant watch of a caregiver.  I don't know his story, but he seems to be in the grip of some debilitating physical condition.  His mind is not his limitation:  that's clearly still a bright light.  He recites transcendental poetry with a glint in his eye and responds to our greetings in a clear, if quiet, and measured tone.  We've come here for a ceremony of remembering, so that we can share the time with him too.   We're sitting around him now on the rug, sharing hummus and bread and blackberries and talking of many things.  The conversation in the afterglow of this heart-full time weaves among luminous and hopeful topics.  Then his partner remarks, so casually that her words take a moment to sink in, "We've been talking a lot about our death."  Now she's got all of our attentions. She's smiling -- the peaceful, sunlight smile she's worn for most of the short time that I've known her.  "We want to plan for it in advance", she continues, "and so we've been investigating sustainable options for what happens afterward."

Why don't people think on this more?  And why don't they talk about it with their friends?  Not as a depressing subject, or a desperate one at the point when it's too late, but as a natural aspect of the journey we share together?  Why isn't it a conscious level of interaction with our loved ones...with our financial choices...of our bodies with the earth, in the most literal and intimate sense?  Why don't we see it as, perhaps, a partial antidote to all of those continuous little deaths we pass through, collectively or individually:  of job, relationship, failure of hope or expectation.. With all the times we die in part before we die completely, and too many of those we endure alone, why, when it comes to the final and unavoidable taking of leave, wouldn't we accompany each other more? 

I'll leave that question as it is, for now:  open.  And just offer this link to one of the natural options these friends told us about.  A vision for more harmony with community and with Earth.   http://www.lifeandlove.tv/article.cfm/aid/1081.