pushing back

gratitude for quieter waters
after crushing waves
and a pair of kind responses
blowing in out of the blue

yesterday was a funk, for sure
maybe a passing squall, but
try telling that to any boat
just holding out in the eye of the storm

an empathetic friend wrote that it's hard
not to get to such a state when you're pushing
and life doesn't push you back
there's either too little (work, service, activity)
to fill the picture, or too much space to fill
what happens when
that existential push comes to no shove
is of course falling down
levelled by the force of my own free will
released but not quite liberated
from attachement, agenda, expectation
you know the usual suspects
but also not yet freed
from wish to join in the creation of more life
and what's a living soul to do
if not desire continually that?