insomnia, undone (?)

Salvation! in the form of a tiny little pill, that gives me back my sleep...all natural/herbal, of course, from our excellent family guru. 9 beautiful hours of oblivion, 3 dream cycles: this is wealth, to me. Couldn't ask for anything more, today.

Dream 1 clears out memories of partnership-as-it-was, with an ex who would not, could not show me respect and healthy space. My compliments to the Props and Lighting Department on this one: the scene is a construction site, piles of upturned earth on every side. The weather is heavy cloudcover, looming low. And my getaway vehicle is an electric blue mini-stunt-bike.

Dream 2 is partnership-as-it-could-be: a stand-in leading man showers me with carefully chosen birthday gifts and innumerable small kindnesses, and my greatest difficulty (true to life, this) is just to keep receiving...

Dream 3 is a graduation celebration for a large group of us who have just completed a training course of some kind, in a Spanish-speaking country. There aren't enough details given to know what country, or what kind of course - only that our work is a success, and many strong bonds of friendship and community have been begun. In a crowded house of warm welcome and humming conviviality, we pose for group photos, receive our certificates, and plot future journeys over dinner. Lots of laughter, jokes, friendly self-deprecation at our struggles to overcome language barriers (we, the students, seem to be from all over). We write up a list of our linguistic progresses, and hang it on the wall. Looking out a window, I see the industrial sector of the town in which we are headquartered, and the high-desert landscape beyond. Blue mountains rim the view, with a white dusting of snow. This could be central Mexico (is my Props Dept. adding unnatural precipitation?). It could be Santa Fe, at that.

Waking lucidity: one beautiful practice my old dreamgroup turned me on to. Empowered awareness in the dreamtime is, of course, the eventual goal. But why not start when we're awake? To say, as I walk under cobalt skies, with actual snow-dusted lapis mountains at my verge: "This could be Santa Fe...Wow, it IS Santa Fe, at that!" "I'm walking, I'm on my own two feet, I'm capable of any motion, in any direction, that I choose: what a crazy miracle." "I choose, next, to walk through this bright-painted coffeeshop door and find myself in Mexico again..." Well, it can't hurt to try. Two outta three. But this dream brings to mind - it was already in mind - that I have to bring out some more words about journeying, and in particular of Mexico, soon. There's many dreams there that ask to be brought to light again. To further lucidity.